Dear Jon

DEAR JON,
I have found my epic love. He is Antony to my Cleopatra. How do I merge our two very different styles into one home that we are both happy with?
Cleo

Dear Cleo,

Sometimes it's hard making the perfect barge for smooth sailing down the Nile. Ok. That's my one and only Egyptian reference, I promise. The truth is it can be a challenge when two divergent design styles merge.

The first step is to pare down and eliminate any piece(s) you can live without. Not only will this earn you points with your true love but it makes room for a few new purchases that you agree on together. Another approach is to take turns selecting piece(s) you love that you agree to use somewhere in your home.

Next, look for a common denominator to build on. One of the easiest to identify is color. Consider painting a few pieces of furniture from each style a single unifying color and you have instant coordination. The same can be achieved with unifying fabric, 2 different chairs upholstered in the same fabric can look spectacular together.

You can also take a separate but equal approach. Divide up the rooms evenly and each of you decorates them to your own taste. This works best in older homes where spaces are separate and clearly defined. You may find it refreshing and it can help avoid monotony. Certainly this is more difficult to achieve successfully in today's open floor plans.

For the ultimate solution, sell and/or donate everything and start from scratch building a home that truly reflects who you are as a couple. Having sold the contents of my own home last year I can assure you that after the initial piece is sold the rest gets easier. It's also very liberating. As the saying goes "out of sight out of mind."

Like every other aspect of a successful relationship designing a home together is all about compromise, being open to new ideas, and truly listening to your partner's needs and desires.

The Egyptians weren't destroyed; they were a-Nile-ated. Work together to avoid the same in your household (I know I promised but I couldn't resist).

Jon